| Nothing to do but grind my teeth and turn away... |
[Wednesday, April 21st, 2004 .-. 8:45pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
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music |
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"Echo" - Trapt |
] |
I would just like to make it perfectly clear: I don't appreciate the nature of these called I've recieved in past two days. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm just a whiney bitch who needs to get over herself. But I'll just say a few things first and not mention it again. I don't like being a way to get a good laugh. Leave my mistakes in the past. I don't like being pubicly humiliated. You know who you are and you know what you've said.
On a lighter note... New LiveJournal: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) az_wethinkwe_iz It's friends only. Comment to be added if you already aren't.
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| My mom is bringing me a Coke... (SCORE!) |
[Wednesday, April 14th, 2004 .-. 9:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Some Chingy song that's stuck in my head... |
] |
And here she is.. I better go and get it.
Anyways... I had fun today. Wil came and got me after I got home. We went to the mall and then to the Cheesecake Factory. Twas yummy. Then on the way back, we picked up Frank and went to the Brandon mall. I like the LoveSac... very comfy stuff. Then we went to Barnes and Nobles and just kinda hung around. It was cool of Wil to take me home in the dark (since he has no working tail lights... :-D) Thanks budday! I really wasn't "suppoed" to hang out with Frank because Charlie is.. nevermind. I won't get into that. I don't understand that girl. And it makes me very angry.
I'm not sure if I want to go back to Blake. Not even because of Charlie. It'll just be easier to go to King again I guess. But I still don't know. I have til' the 28th to decide if I want to audition again. Comment your input if you like.
REPORT CARD: Not good! I did worse than I usually do and don't plan on telling my mom. I've don it before so I hope she won't figure it out. Hopefully I'll do better this quarter (heh.. probably because I paln ongoing to 3rd period everyday!). Yeah, I got a "not-so-good" grade in Personal Fitness. Maybe because I never went. 0:-) I didn't fail though, so that's good.
Anyways, I'm going to go watch 100 Greatest Stnad-Ups w/ me muhzha. Peace Bee-Otches. (I saw a bag in Spencers that said "Bee-Otch". I want it. It had a bee on it that looked angry.)
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| Of all the luck... mine's the worst. |
[Tuesday, April 6th, 2004 .-. 9:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Time Is Running Out" - Muse |
] |
Had a bad day overall. Let that just be the end of it.
But I do like my new layout. Comment if you think it's schnazzy.
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| My arm hurts... |
[Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 .-. 8:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Commercials |
] |
Turns out I'm allergic to everything under the sun. I went to an allergist today. The same building as Faxy's shrink. They put these drops of all these things like pollen, grass, dust, etc... then they took a needle and put into the drops. My arm swelled up in like 5 minutes. The doctor said that no one usually reacts taht fast. The good part was that I didn't have to have an ish-load of shots into my arm. But now I have to start taking allergy shots so they can build up my immune system.. so I can't avoid shots either way. And it'll take 3 years to make me completely immune. But it'll be worth it in the end. Right now I have to test all these different medications until the shot dosages get heavier. So that's whats up I guess. And my arm is sore.. still. It sucks.
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| Yes... Hilary Duff. Shut up. I like this song. |
[Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 .-. 5:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
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music |
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Derr... |
] |
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Than always staying in
Feel the wind
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
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| My Birthday has turned around... |
[Sunday, March 28th, 2004 .-. 1:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"All That Jazz" - Catherine Zeta-Jones |
] |
Things I got and am SUPER greatful for...
1. Clothes, a really cool stained glass moon and sun, and other stuff from my Mom.
2. An inscense burner and lots of really snazzy smelling inscense burner from Kallie and my Bruhzha... oh and a new barbell :-P.
3. A spiffy lunch box with the last super in watercolor on it from Wil.
4. Chicago DVD from my Mimi.
5. A seventy-five dollar check from my Oma and Opa.
6. And last, and by no way least... the greastest present of all from my Daddy, whom I love and adore (and not just because of his gift)...
That one looks INCREDIBLY similar to mine. Except mine needs a new coat of paint and I get to pick the color. Haven't decided yet, but will post as soon as I figure that shiz out. Also, mine needs AC, but Fahzha said if I really like the car and don't plan on getting rid of it for a while (and believe me.. I'll drive that baby until it can't drive no more). I'm going to post all the pics I took of it once I get them developed.
FYI: My NEW CAR is a 1968 Mercury Cougar XR-7 with a V8 engine... that suckah can move!!!!
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| Spring Break... |
[Saturday, March 27th, 2004 .-. 2:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Addicted" - Simple Plan |
] |
It wasn't what I thought it would be. It was kind of a bummer towards the end I felt really shitty on the day that I should feel great (my birthday). I was crying all morning. I don't know. Wil was a little fed up as well and we just decided to leave. I was going to ask my mom to come and get in case he didn't want to leave... but he did and was glad he wouldn't have to drive home alone. We didn't tell anyone we left. We just packed and went. I haven't talked to Charlie since the morning of. I don't really know whats going on with all that. Maybe I should call her. Or should I wait for her to call me? I'm just confused. And I've been really out of it since I got back. I don't know. That morning I was so miserable and was just balling like a little kid. I'm not going to get into specifics.. I just wanted to leave.
It wasn't all that bad I guess. It was kind of nice to get away from everything. I don't want to go back to school. I don't need the hassles. But I have to do it. I'm not even sure what to do about next year. I thought going back to Blake would solve everything. But there was always this nagging doubt in the back of mind. Maybe it'll just be easier to go to King and disconnect myself from everything. I'd really like to go somewhere that no one knows me... start a new I guess. I don't know. I just wish there'd be some sign that would let everything fall into place and be good again. But maybe thats an impossible wish.
I've said it about 3 times already in this entry but I'll say it again... I don't know. I just don't know.
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| The Pirate Haus Inn |
[Sunday, March 21st, 2004 .-. 8:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Pirates of the Carribean |
] |
I'M ON SPRING BREAK BITCHES!!! ST. AUGUSTINE IS THE SHIT!!! IN YO FACES!!!
I miss my mom though.
Yea. I thought that I wouldn't be able to go online at all the whole time. But there are two computers in the common room and you have to pay to use them but since we got one of the biggest rooms, we all got a free half hour. :-D
Well. I'm going to go.. I wanna save some of my time for later this week cuz I'm cheap like a jew.
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[Thursday, March 18th, 2004 .-. 10:40pm] |
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Yes.. deleted the "dramatic" comments. Probably should delete some entries now. Oh well, too lazy. I guess I just don't want to make everything public.
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| I guess I'm just a bitch... |
[Thursday, March 18th, 2004 .-. 4:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Ironic" - Alanis Morisette |
] |
And people can't handle me. And then when I wanna hang out, they make up excuses or have something better to do. But, hey. That's okay. At least I know it now and can't burden anyone. I've done it too so many. And now Fairfax. Oh well. I'm going away next week, the whole week. Away from anyone whom I annoy the shit out of. And when I get back.. I'll just try and stay out of everyone's way. That is unless the people I go with get fed up, too. Hopefully I'll keep my act together and won't fuck that up. But it'll be my birthday in exactly seven days.
Maybe I'll get a job. Then, I'll have something to occupy time. Goody. I know my Dad said he'd rather just give me money than for me to work... or he said that before. I don't know anymore. Sometimes he says I don't do anything. But next year, I'm going to work my ass off for that car. Grades, chores, everything. I just want to lead a life where no one bitches at me. Maybe that's impossible. I'm still gonna try like fuck.
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| LOOK OUT FRANK! I'MMA STEALIN' YO WOMAN!!! |
[Monday, March 15th, 2004 .-. 4:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Flavor of the Week" - I forgot the band name... comment if you know it. |
] |
Jp Homie.
But anyways.. check this shit out. It's Great!!! :
♥Andi and ♥Char | - Doing their best to conceive less than zero elitist kids.
- Are aspiring to hold hands weekly.
- Need chaperoning.
- Are far too sexy.
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I CAN'T WAIT FOR SPRING BREAK!!! ONLY 4 MORE DAYS!!!!! (Well, three school days cuz two of them are half-days!! BUT STILL THAT'S SOOO CLOSE!!!)
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[Sunday, March 14th, 2004 .-. 8:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
Somewhere there's speaking, it's already coming in
Oh and it's rising in the back of your mind
You never could get it unless you were fed it
Now you're here, and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen, listen and wait for
The echoes of angels who won't return
He's everything you want, he's everything you need
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why
You're waiting for someone to put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
He's everything you want, he's everything you need
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why
But you'll just sit tight and watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine with all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island and into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice, but you still hide away
Anger of angels who won't return
He's everything you want, he's everything you need
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why
I am everything you want, I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be
I say all the right things at exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you, and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why, why
I don't know
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| Yes, yes.. another entry! |
[Saturday, March 13th, 2004 .-. 11:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Rack Em' Up" - Johnny Lang (Der) |
] |
I know its only been about a half an hour since me last one.. but I'm in such a good mood I have to write about it.
I have to say, I love Blues. It can really help you when you're down. Here's a song thats worthy of being on repeat:
I used to hang out down at Jack's Pool Hall
You go down there and don't do nothin' at all
If you wanted to play some cards there was a game in the back
If you wanted to shot or somethin' you went and talked to Jack
If you had a little money you was a grade A fool
There was a guy down there who used to shoot a little pool
Rack 'em up
Till' the day he was dead that all they ever said
Rack 'em up
He didn't own a TV set, didn't own a car
He ate what whatever Jack was makin' back behind the bar
They said he had a wife, but she left him in tears
He hadn't been home in twenty five years
Rack 'em up
They came from all over thinkin' they we're pretty hot
Put all their money on the table, wanna play the best we got
Nine in the corner, five in the side
Take a hundred dollar bill and just let it ride
I tell him listen son, ain't no disaster
There ain't no shame in being beat by a master
I love Johnny Lang. Even though he isn't an old dead black man like most great Blues artists, he's terrific in my opinion.
FAXY MAKES ME HAPPY!!! Haha. And not just her. But she's online and cheered me up. We've been through everything. WE CAN MAKE IT!!! Haha. Maybe I'll turn lesbian and MARRY HER!!! Maybe not... I can't do that. I love the male sex too much. Even though they can be tough to take sometimes, it can be worth it ;-) . And i don't mean the male sex as in intercourse. I'm a virgin. Lol... just for those of you who couldn't tell or were just assuming. (BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASSUME!)
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| Sometimes... I hate speaking my mind. |
[Saturday, March 13th, 2004 .-. 10:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"I'd Do Anything" - Simple Plan |
] |
This is an example of honesty biting me in the ass...
I AM SO SORRY. FOR ANYTHING THAT OFFENDED, HURT, OR JUST PLAIN RUBBED THE WRONG WAY. I'D TAKE IT ALL BACK IF I COULD. But I can't, so either accept my complete and honest appology, or just don't and hold it all in just so you have something to be angry about. I'll understand either way.
I was upset. I had to walk a long way. My allergies were killing me. I was desperate. Patrick, Johnathan, Birtney, Frank, WHOEVER!, did absolutely nothing wrong. It was my own stupid fault. I had one of the worst days in a long time before that whole mess even happened.
I just need to go back to Blake, so I can escape all this. YES! I'm running away. I'm a coward. So what? There's nothing wrong with being afraid sometimes. And I can't get back in, I need to suck it up and take whatever comes my way because I myself brought it on.
I just want anyone who I made upset to know... Everything was my fault. I can admit and accept it. I hold nothing against anyone. I just want a clean sate. I want it to be in the past, and stay there.
Maybe that's impossible.
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| Yea... |
[Friday, March 12th, 2004 .-. 5:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Between Rupture and Rapture" - Thursday |
] |
Today was one of THE WORST DAYS EVER!!! I felt shitty all day because I barely got 2 hours of sleep last night and I just felt horrible all day. I kept crying in Algebra... just emotional stuff. It got a little better by fourth period. Janae, Lauren, and Cell... I know how to say it, but I can't spell it (this girl in my Drawing class) always make me feel better cause they're just so funny together. Anyways.. I'm probably going to fail Personal Fitness because I never go. Oh well.. I don't care. And I'm sure I can do okay on the exam. Plus, I probably won't slide by with more then a C in World History because I suck on his tests and I've had two really bad notebooks. Oh well, I'm not so worried about that.
Lately though, I've just really been doubting any of the people in a certain "crowd" really give a flying fuck about my existance. Today proved that in more than one way. I had to walk to Fairfax's house.. I originally wanted to just walk home but it would have been too far. She wasn't there when I got there. Oh well. I just want to thank Zell. One of the only tremendous parts of my day is his generousity. He took me home. I mean I payed him, but I offered to do that with another person, but hanging out was their major priority today. Whatever.. I'm going to find out which bus I ride and just bite the bullet and go through that shit everyday. It's only one more quarter. And that's a mode of transportation that I can always count on. And I know Fairfax was really worried and tried to do the right thing by calling Pat to come and get me. I just don't want to be around those people anymore... and I have no bad feelings towards any one of them. I just can't depend on them and that's ok.
I just hope the Blake thing doesn't fall through... I can't handle this King shit anymore. This has been the worst year of my life. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. I'm just more temped to to do bad shit at King.. because frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. At least at Blake I had something to movtivate myself and works towards. And now I've gone and fucked it up. Oh well, the past is past... and there ain't shit you can do about it. I'm just thankful that I have something to look forward to. And if I don't get back in, I'll get a car next year and that's one of my problems out the window. That is one thing I WILL NOT fuck up. I'm also thankful that there are some people I can really count on and I know that they're there for me and care about me. You know who you are but just for the sake of dropping names: CHARLIE, My Mom, Fairfax, Frank, Wil, Jessica, Jamie, Zell... you get the picture. Thanks everyone. And I know that the other people I used to hang around with could care about me in some aspects, but if I'm just a hassle sometimes... then it isn't worth it. Once again, I hate none of them. In fact, I honestly like them. They are incredibly fun to be around but maybe I'm just not for them. And that's okay. I can deal with that. Most of the time, I can't stand myself either. LoL. But I wish they cared enough to be honest about it.
Okay, that's enough of my ranting for one day.
-Andi
I need a shower... my feet are filthy from 56th street.
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| ... |
[Thursday, March 11th, 2004 .-. 10:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
I was asleep... and then I woke up.
I had fun today/nite. Wil, Frank, and Char are the greastest. I love you guys!
We went to Costco... and then to Charlie's Dad's and played pool and then basketball. Charlie's little brother is a demon in a twelve year old's body. Frank found his long lost little brother. Fun stuff.
I think I'm going to go back to bed. Maybe I'll get some cereal first because I didn't really have dinner and it's good anytime.
<3<3 Andi
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[Thursday, March 11th, 2004 .-. 3:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
I am so bored... and I can't wait for Spring Break.
Mr. Johnson scares me.
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| I hate allergy season... |
[Tuesday, March 9th, 2004 .-. 8:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"What's This?" - Jack Skellington |
] |
HATE IT! Urrggh. It was so bad last night I only got about four hours of sleep. And I couldn't go to school today because once I finally did fall asleep, I was totally out. AND I HAD TO MISS THE SCIENCE PORTION OF THE FCAT! OH DARN! :-)
I changed my layout... check it out if you're reading this on your friends list. But I need help with the font color. I want it the same color as the stars. (::Bambi Eyes:: Tika?)
But right now I'm gonna go finish watching Nightmare Before Christmas with my Mom.
<3<3 ~ Andi
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[Monday, March 8th, 2004 .-. 3:08pm] |
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| Ha. If I were only Emo. |
[Thursday, March 4th, 2004 .-. 4:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The new Usher song Feat. Ludacris. (I like it! I know.. I'm a nukkah at heart!) |
] |
Anyways. Here's an update of whats been happening... (I have written in a while because my internet was being a J-O-O)
- I got my tongue pierced. ;-D
- FACT SUCKS BALLS! (As I'm sure you all know.)
- E-Bay was being E-Gay because it said this calculator I bought was a TI-83+ on the description.. but it was really a TI-82 that's probably older than I am. EXCITING, HUH?
That's really about it. Can't wait for spring break! Right now though I have to go call Charlie about that and do some homework, take a shower, and then do some house work. (What a thrilling life I lead, eh?)
¤_Andi_¤
P.S. Pat and Brit broke up. I was shocked. I hope they work things out and don't hate each other or get back together. Either way I feel for both of them... Breaking up is hard to do. (Is that a song? Most likely. Probably country, LoL.)
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